Often when you feel that your
relationship is on the rocks, the first
thing on your mind is how to stop it
from ending and how to make the other
person stay. But if there is something
seriously wrong, then convincing your
partner not to leave and convincing
yourself that you have to stay together
without working on the problems that
you have together is like putting a
bandage over a gunshot wound: it
might look and feel a bit better in the
short term, but it’s just not good
enough and at its most basic, it is the
wrong thing to do. You cannot
continue to build on damaged
foundations and the same applies to a
relationship. You must work together
to break it down and re-build it
stronger and there are many ways to
do this, but they all revolve around a
few basic tenets. Communication, trust,
mutual understanding, hard work and
commitment are needed in every

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A healthy relationship always involves
communication. But when hurt feelings
are involved it is often difficult to
communicate in a clear and rational
way, and discussions often devolve into
arguments which solve nothing. If you
feel like you need some pointers on
how to stop fighting and start talking,
there are some hints and tips to be
found in this short online class.
Figuring out what is essentially broken
with your relationship is the first step to
healing it and moving forward in a new
way together. Set aside a time with no
distractions to commit fully to
discussing your problems in a frank
and open manner. Allow your partner
time to speak without interrupting and
without jumping to conclusions, and try
not to get angry. Then take your own
turn to air your personal issues. Once
you have each had your turn to speak,
you can then begin to discuss them,
again trying to keep things calm and
free from upset. It is natural to get
emotional when someone you care
about is outlining your failures or weak
points, but only by addressing them can
you overcome them. Your partner is
not trying to hurt you or make you feel
bad. Try to view it as constructive
criticism, which you can use to improve
yourself. Once the pair of you have
discovered the things that are holding
you back, you can work together to
overcome them.

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